Work in retail long enough, and you'll eventually realize the rules for dealing with Customers are exactly the same as for dealing with the Fae:

- Avoid eye contact.

- Never reveal your full name.

- Accept nothing They offer to you.

- Never verbally agree or disagree with anything They might happen to say.

- To apologize is to acknowledge a debt owed.

- Under no circumstances are you ever to thank them.

- Remember that They are incapable of reading signs in human languages.

So I thought I'd try to connect with a deity and well...

I ended up with Athena who was *very concerned* about my mental health.

"Oh this, this is normal."

"I've seen wounded warriors in less denial."

Occult shitpost 

Tired of disassociating?

Try channeling a diety.

- idk my dude, there's a god or goddess in your body
- technically you didn't disassociate you just got demoted to 3rd person view
- maybe you'll have a cool new feature

- maybe you don't get a diety that's useful at the moment
- not recommended in public spaces

I'm culturally appropriating this and nobody can stop me.

*adds magick herbs to coffee because that appears to be the 'express delivery' of spells*

Today in himbo pagan moments
When trying to make a witch tea, half the herb shelf fell in because part of the shelf broke.

No, I am not remaking it. It's an experiment at the end of the day.

Okay I had one hell of an experience, herbs, wine and incense did a LOT of a job.

Okay, so entering a ritual state (intoxication via wine), I spoke (kind of) with Dionysus.


Damien boosted

dreams, what the fuck 

@masculine_entity Missing your dreams? Did you get a "You've exceeded your dream quota" message? Have been the unwilling test subject of a dream experiment?

Call 888-DREAM-LAW today for financial compensation!

dreams, what the fuck 

So, I had maybe 3hrs of sleep before I woke up our of this nonsense.

I'm asleep normally.
Walk into a room, you know, mostly normal stuff.


Suddenly the room gets dark and this voiceover like female voice is like "sorry, your monthly dream quota has been exceeded, good morning."

and then I woke up.

Selfie, eye contact 

Letting my hair down for once

So I tried to communicate with a diety and he asked if I had an appointment so I guess ....that happened?????

selfie, eye contact 

Feeling good with a beard for once. Nope, not cutting any hair except a trim.

Me trying to use magick to save my bank account despite having no idea what I'm doing or if it will work

Surreal take: at bed bath and beyond, the beyond is never revealed to anyone except the most senior employees.

You have to be at least a district manager to observe the ritual. We must hope it never fails.

The more I read about the fae the more they sound like lawyers

- don't verbally agree or disagree with them
- apologies acknowledge a debt
- unnerved by the presence of iron and horseshoes
- seemingly unable to communicate in normal human languages
- offers you "too good to be true" deals
- confused when you thank them

No, I'm not drunk, it's a ritual, I promise.

Okay, so maybe adding vodka to the wine wasn't his original plan but here we are ok?

my familiar is such a soft girl, I love her so much

drunkposting, ignore if you want 

does anyone know a good guide for tarot, because my last reading was great and I love it!

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